LOCKDOWN LINKY – Laura Stewart

LOCKDOWN LINKY – Laura Stewart
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The Four Horsemen

Aphrodite's Child

Oh hi! I’m Laura, from Swansea (so imagine this being read in a posh Welsh accent), and I don’t think anyone here knows me really, except Brian, because he knows everyone, he’s brilliant like that. I joined AFG probably about a year ago, but never really posted---I observed with affection. Then when the website I work for (https://25yearslatersite.com) launched its Music Dept, as Head, I got to write the first article. So, I chose you wonderful people and of course IDLES to be the maiden music article. I shared it here and you really seemed to love it! Thank you. Since then Brian and I have become good friends. Even got him to watch Twin Peaks. Yes, that’s my fault.
Anyway, here goes my 10 Kinky Linky’s!

As seems to happen to people when they hit middle age, I have recently fallen in love with Prog Rock, so I’m kicking off with a banger from Aphrodite’s Child, a Greek psychedelic rock band formed in 1967, lead by Demis Roussos (who looked like The Hound off of Game of Thrones back then) and Vangelis. “The Four Horsemen” is just a belter of a track, and felt kind of an apt choice right now.

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Three Days

Jane's Addiction

Continuing in the prog-rock style, but moving into 1990 now with Janes Addiction, and “Three Days”. This is the sexiest song in the world in my opinion. Perry Farrell wrote it about a girl called Xiola Blue, who came to stay with him and his partner Casey while she attended her fathers funeral. The trio spent three days in a haze of sex and drugs, and the song totally sounds like it. It has 3 parts, which to me represent 3 stages of this threesome. It starts sweetly, gently and passionately, then erupts into an orgasmic, blissful rock anthem with the best guitar solo of all time, before slowing to a nasty sludgy fuckfest. Pure filth.

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Our Lips Are Sealed

Fun Boy Three

Next is a song I adore that reminds me of my childhood. I was lucky enough to grow up with two older brothers who had a great taste in music. I knew the words to every Cure song by age 8. Joy Division, The Jesus & Mary Chain and The Cocteau Twins made me a very happy little goth. My brothers also introduced me to some excellent pop in the form of the Fun Boy Three. I have chosen “Our Lips are Sealed” because I must have played it about 20 times a day back then. It’s possibly not as good as the original Go-Go’s version, but I do love the male and female vocal harmonies here, and I adore Jane Wiedlin’s voice. It’s also a bittersweet song for me now, as it was my (epitome of punk, whose reputation preceded him) friend Nicky’s favourite song, and it was played at his funeral. Hearing hundreds of people singing this was breathtaking.

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Look into My Eyes

The Chantels

Now for another song that has been with me since childhood, but with my parent’s influence this time. Doo-wop girl bands were a joy for me growing up, especially the Shangri-Las and The Chantels. In particular, “Look In My Eyes” which you’ll probably know from the Goodfellas soundtrack or the strings sample in Tricky’s “Suffocated Love”. This song made me fall in love with music, it is perfect even to this day.

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The Pink Room

Angelo Badalamenti

This may come as a surprise to absolutely no-one, but I’m quite a fan of Twin Peaks, and so it was inevitable really that I would choose something by the brilliant composer Angelo Badalamenti who wrote the soundtracks to all three series, and the film Fire Walk With Me---my favourite movie of all time. There is a scene where Laura Palmer goes to a seedy bar on the Canadian border where she gets high with her friends Donna and Ronette and partakes in sexual acts with various people. All the while, this track, “The Pink Room” plays loudly, and it paints the hazy sleaziness of the situation perfectly. Jazz at its kinkiest right here.

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East 17

Despite me growing up with great music taste, the first gig I ever went to was East 17, when I was around 13. I fainted. Teenage hormones had kicked in and sense had walked right out, leaving me obsessed with the boy band from Walthamstow. In particular Tony Mortimer (at least he wrote the songs). It’s suddenly dawning on me now where my penchant for deep South Eastern accents stemmed from. I can’t lie, this song is still wonderful, but the video is truly dreadful. There is no reason why that many people should wear camo gear at the same time if they are not in the actual army.

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Cruel Summer


This track I’m picking for its appropriateness in our current times. Banarama were great before they signed with Stock, Aitken and Waterman, when they had great fluffy hair and wore dungarees. “Cruel Summer”, the theme to The Karate Kid is the perfect pop song to sing-a-long to. It is going to be a Cruel Summer if we don’t stay indoors. It’s going to be a Cruel Summer if we have to stay indoors. Either way, it all sucks, but at least we have each other and the internet. Stay Safe

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Dry the Rain

The Beta Band

The Beta Band’s “Dry The Rain” is a song I just never ever get bored of. It always makes me feel lifted, not in a Lighthouse Family way as that would be horrible, in a way that makes me want to cry even though I’m happy. It’s one of those songs that start with bare-bones and slowly build into something majestic. Elbow do it well, as do Orbital, and The Beta Band can be added to the list. The High Fidelity film brought a lot of attention to this track when John Cusack mentions the band and played some of the track in his record store. Great movie, great song. The lyrics “If there's something inside that you want to say, Say it out loud it'll be okay, I will be your light” really sum up the overwhelming love and support the AFG give each other. So this one is all for you.

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This song is ridiculous but I love it. It’s pure smut to infinity and has ridiculous sound effects and lyrics. “Pony” by Ginuwine is the 25YL anthem, chosen purely for its inappropriateness to be a work-based theme tune. 25 Years Later is my little piece of heaven. We started out as a few mates writing about Twin Peaks. Then when S3 was finished we didn’t want to stop so we branched out into other TV, Film, Gaming and Music. We even have a separate site for Sports now. We still pinch ourselves that our little passion project now has 2 million readers a year. Not bad for some unskilled geeks. One day we’ll release our own version of the song, in the meantime jump on it, do it, ride it, my pony.

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Walk on By

Dionne Warwick

And finally, this is my most favourite song in the world. Dionne Warwick’s “Walk On By” is a joy from the first second. It’s such a joy to sing to, powerful and heartbreaking; they don’t make them like this anymore. There is no particular moment of nostalgia attached to it for me, it's just perfectly formed.
Dionne Warwick, “Walk On By”

So there it is, my Kinky Linky is done. I hope you enjoyed at least one or two of the tracks. Stay inside, stay safe. I love you. All is Love.

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