Brian's Daily Update

Monday June 29, 2020

Good morning AFG 
Blue. Bright. Wind. 

This mornings bus tunes: The Singles 82-85. Depeche Mode

This mornings bus smells; MASK

Driver Status. Chubby Michael Owen again 

Seat obtained C Class 

Yep, fucking C Class on a Monday morning. 
I’m not happy. 
There are people currently sitting in both far left, far right of B Class. The AA and the AAA both occupied by complete unknowns. 
This is not good
Who are these ships in the night that have ridden into town and taken my glory from me? 
They are not faces we know. 
These are four new players to the game. 
I bet I’m being set up by Derren Brown. I’ll be in a Channel 4 special before the end of next week. 
Don’t like C Class. It reminds me of the 70s 

Holy shit. 
The best seat upgrade in the world ever. 
We pulled into town only for Chubby Michael Owen to announce that this current single decker of love that we are all sitting on is fucked and could be all depart and get on the empty bus behind! 
I’m in C Class, down the front with the common people. You’ve never seen me move so fast! 
Straight off of Owens busted bus and first onto the replacement bus behind straight on to my love nest of the AAA. 
The baby Jesus must have seen my complete disappointment and made shit happen. 
Fuck! If this is a secret Derren Brown set up and there are hidddn cameras filming me maybe I’ve just failed his first test! 
He will have me eating a light bulb by 6pm* 

*Is Derren Brown popular outside of the UK, does anyone have a fucking clue what I’m on about. 
Have you ever? 

Do be it. The AAA I’ve said before is my Graceland and I am her Elvis. 

Good weekend? 
I can’t even remember what I got up to
to be honest. I think it was complete FA. Housework, laundry, hoovering blah blah blah and a good chunk of S4 of Sopranos too. 
Which was nice. 

Pubs in England open this Saturday. The weather is saying it’s going to be a lovely hot day too. 
Can’t help think that reopening the pubs for the first time in nearly four months being in a Saturday Is a good idea. 
Surely it would have been better to do this gradually starting today? 
Fuck Brian , are you once again questioning the incompetence of our UK government? 
Bite me. 

Watched some football over the weekend too. 
It’s still shit. 
I’m no fan of any Premiership team as my team now currently sit in the basement league of the English game but well done Liverpool, I like Jurgen Flip Flop. I envy the skills of a world class motivator. 
Good lad.

11 people on this bus now. 
11 is the current Armageddon Miley Cyrus max capacity for this limp masked generation on a bus. 
I don’t recognise any off them. 
Am I on the right bus? 
Am I still actually in bed and dreaming this whole experience? 
Are these people actually paid extras from this Derren Brown Special that my stupid brain is now starting to believe I’d actually real? 
Is this seat my Graceland? 
Am I Elvis? 

We are all Elvis. 

You fat bastard diet update Day 300 and something. 
I had a really really good last week, I did not fuck up once and I worked in a warehouse shaped oven all week and I only shifted 1lb! 
1 bloody pound. 
I’ve had poos that weigh more than that. 
Update tough Is that I’m just 2lbs off my lightest weight that I was in January of this year. 
Getting there………..slowly. 

Max waffle this morning. Classic Monday morning brain dump 

I should go 

Be nice 
Be smart 
Be kind 
Be cool
Be a bus wanker. I like it
Sing your fucking heart out 
Watch a film
Listen to more ĠENN
I love you
You love you 
I love you baby. ❤️


PS : Support your local Scum